venture o'er the ocean

Sitting in this main room at LHR so going to write a little bit, good ol airport with a maserati and a lambo.

Met this British guy Chris on the train over from Penn station. Chill guy, had one suitcase half full of beer, dogfish head and stuff, he is legit in my book. We separate for a bit as he takes the high road at the airport in the business class line, but this takes me to the measly peasants, which include this tall slender gorgeous blonde chick. Going to London on her way from the Grand Cayman, her normal life is a vacation, she goes to London for a break… there goes an auto go eff yourself. After checking in, meet back up with Chris and head over through security, BEEEEP, but what else is new when you have brown balls of steel. Get to the terminal at 7pm, flight is out at 9, perfect time for the airport bar. Option make it an extra “Big Beer” for $1.50, why yes thank you. Sam Adams cherry wheat you are too kind to someone who definitely needs to just stay alive at this point. Chill at the bar, talk about random stuff. Apparently the business class is a sleeper part of the plane, so they don’t get served food, so humbly Chris says he regrets to leave but he has to go catch dinner in the lounge otherwise there’s no food for him on the plane. All’s good, he is going to Australia on business but will be back around the time I’m going to London, so we might meet up there. Thank’s for the beer Chris, will return the favor when I’m in London.

Few dollars in my pocket, but Euro-less, I go over to the money exchange, but at an 8 dollar fee, it’s definitely not worth the 4 euro I need for the train in Amsterdam. Go over near the gate and sit next to the British chick, “It’s like you’re sitting in a yoga pose”, >> “Haha, well I usually do yoga, back in the grand Cayman, it’s like 95 degrees and I do it in my room or on a rooftop. First girl I’m going to fall in love with, check-. She says “wee bit” also, cute. We talk about random shit, play this passport issue date guessing game that I played with Chris, and then we talk about last names.

Shiva: wait for it…Kambhampati

Sarah: wow, that’s an awesome one, come on party, that’s what I’m hearing

anyways, sarah goes to the bathroom, and they call Mr. Kambhampati up to the gate ironically enough. Uhhhh… go up to the gate.. What trouble did I get myself into already? Oh, they’re upgrading me, nice.

Go back sit down, Sarah comes back a few minutes later. Hey they just said my name pretty well, I just got upgraded apparently. Rub it in her face a bit and call her a peasant. Oh shit I have to eat at the longue if I’m in business class, don’t I? I go up to the terminal and apparently I’m on Traveler plus which is like bigger seats and like a leg rest, not business and premium food. kinda owned. Diff section on plane so can’t talk to Sarah, hopefully my old seat wasn’t right around hers... o well. I need my sleep after not sleeping for 3843 hours.

yoga girl from bikram texts me saying sorry she couldn’t make it out, her friends bday party ran late and that she hopes I am wearing my snazzy blazer. why yes I am, I kinda love this thing, it’s pretty niiiiiiiiice. okay phone is off for two months, no one text me.

Only interesting thing about the plane ride was that I watched this movie with Daniel Craig that was super modern where he was an actor and depressed and just went out into the ocean and just filmed him laying there in the vast ocean. Fade to black; come back with slightly different time period and totally different characters with nothing of the same theme of the previous events. Pass in and out of consciousness, and at the end Daniel Craig is BACK, I am like wtf, this is trippy and I am super confused. Pass in and out of consciousness for the rest of the flight and eat some ginger chicken dinner and have an apple croissant for breakfast. Security checkpoint at LHR, nothing really on me, BEEEP.. free trip to 2^nd base for the guy feeling me up.

Wandered around the airport and stumbled upon a girl making margaritas at the duty free store. Free booze. excellent. The liquor was tequila-like, but Brazilian and sugar cane derived. Margarita maker girl Tasha was kind of insulted that I was using London as a pass through to Amsterdam without spending time there, but I assured her that if I’m alive after Ibiza twice in a Eurotrip still I’d make it to London to spend a few days before I flew out of LHR for home. Might meet up with her in London. Talked about British humor a bit, deciding if I want to make my debut as an International comedian. Maybe will write some stuff that is a bit dry and sarcastic like this British humor supposedly is and of course HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE. Going to require a bodyguard in London, zach, you need a job still? Rish, bring the blow up doll when you come.